Current mood:

thoughtful

Rampin' up for the road
I organized the largest event that has ever been held in my name, at least as far as i can remember: the "goin' away grillin'" Rob Vaughn farewell BBQ. There was a decent turnout, enough that we were able to have a rousing 8-on-8 game of FFG employee vs. non-FFG employee kickball. I chose to be on the non-FFG team, for poetic reasons.

It made me feel pretty warm and fuzzy inside, especially to see people (like my boss from work, with whom my relationship has been strained in the past) who I didn't expect to show, as well as those that I know for a fact were pretty damn busy, but came anyway (Jeremy and the Carlsons, for instance). There was a bit of sadness, as well. Partly because of the people who weren't there . . . the ones from whom I've drifted apart, or who simply couldn't be there, or who weren't inclined to come. You can't be friends with everyone, I suppose! There's only so much time to maintain relationships. But there was also sadness because there were twice as many people interested in saying farewell as there might have been, say, last year. Which means things are just beginning to be great around here.

But as Joss Whedon says, you can't take the sky from me. And that's what I'd be doing to myself if I remained: taking away my own sky. I hope those mountains appreciate what I'm giving up for them!

Jenn was invited, and said she'd try to make it, but then we chatted for a few minutes and I learned that she had begun dating someone new, and it got me a wee bit jealous . . . so I asked her not to come. I feel a little ashamed of being so wishy-washy, and I think now that it would've been fine to see her, but to what end? It's not like we'll maintain a friendship or a connection from afar, we don't have enough history for that. She's a cute, fun, sexy, sassy gal. I miss her, and will continue to. But our connection was very physical and in-the-moment, so it's better off let go, I think.

On the "returning to see folks" spectrum, though, I'm a sucker. I've already purchased some pretty affordable plane tickets to come back for the big con at the end of the year. The LG gang at the BBQ joked about passing around a collection plate at Axecon to sponsor my flying in next year . . . I wonder if it might be worth dropping subtle hints in my mods ;).

Oh, and I'm VERY excited, yes VERY, about the last four (possibly reduced to three) Shield Lands rounds of the year. The mod that Twern, Dobbs and I are writing is super-cool, I think, in a "race against time!" epic cinematic sense, something that can be hard to pull off in LG. The interactive, assuming we go ahead with what Dobbs brainstormed and Twern and I developed a bit this morning, will be ridiculously fun. Mind-blowingly fun! And, just as important, it'll be relevant to the plotline and region! Weee!

Then there's Shadows of Memory. I'm pretty proud of that mod, but I fear that there might be too much complexity for it to run smoothly. Hopefully GMs will just adapt to some of the mechanics I introduce and not worry about running too strictly.

It feels good to work on fun gaming stuff again. I can't imagine I'll pursue freelance RPG writing too hard-core, just because it's such a large effort for so little payoff . . . especially dangerous if I attempted to do it as my primary source of income. Danger, danger!